Whiskey Live

Fran plus whiskey equals disaster. I don’t mind most alcohol but whiskey for me is like drinking medicine. But like a good girlfriend, I accompanied Francisco to a whiskey convention, called Whiskey Live. He got two invitations and it was on the day of his day off. So who else would go with him on a Monday except me, the girl who gets redfaced after a glass of beer and the only one available on a Monday due to a lack of stable employment.

After registering our names, two hot beautiful women in tight leather pants and super high heels greeted us as we entered the hall. They asked us a bunch of random questions and our answers somehow determined what type of whiskey we were. They then led us to a table where a man in a suit told us more about our whiskey personality. They had two kinds of whiskey. One was smoother, more fruity and light in color. The other was a bit more rough, stronger in taste, and a darker color. We tasted both to see if we preferred the one that coincided with our mini quiz results. Well, apparently, both Francisco and I are sweet and light although I personally think both tasted like ass.

After that educational experience, we just walked around and stopped at whatever table looked good. There were various types of whiskey: Scottish whiskey, Irish whiskey, Japanese whiskey, Bourbon whiskey. I, of course, stopped tasting after four or five sips of different whiskey. Really, they all taste the same: gross! Why would you want to drink something that gives you this burning sensation as it goes down your throat?

Francisco, on the other hand, got super into it. He doesn’t really know much about whiskey, but like with everything else, he’s very enthusiastic about anything food and drink related. At one point he was comparing two different kinds. He swished them in his mouth, up and down, front and back, and through his teeth. And then he and the vendor talked about it in detail – the taste, the consistency, the acidity, how long the flavor stays in your mouth, what part of the tongue gets the most taste, how it’s processed and bottled, etc. It was amazing! It’s incredible that one can only taste shit and be appalled by it all, and another can appreciate all its properties even if he still doesn’t like the drink.

The convention was amazing for me. It was interesting to see all these people who knew so much about whiskey. There were people of all kinds: men in kilts, men in suits, booby girls, shady looking barmen. I even met a fellow American, the master distillator (is this a word?) for Maker’s Mark. I honestly told him that I’ve never heard of Maker’s Mark and he was very nice and told me about it. He invited us to go to Kentucky and visit their factory.

Francisco also ran into one of his old teachers from the Hosteleria school, where he studied for three years. This guy was his cocktail teacher. He was there representing Ideal, a cocktail bar. He made us some yummy drinks. It was so good. I love watching these guys make drinks. From cutting fruit to pouring the drink, they are so professional and smooth when doing it.

I ended my Whiskey Live experience at the sausage and cheese table. Really I should have hung out there the whole time…food is more my thing. As I was walking around, I thought about some Chicago friends who would’ve probably shat their pants if they got to go. I may totally hate whiskey but I’m pretty lucky to be able to experience things that may mean nothing to some, but be a dream to others. It’s all about perspective, I guess. I hope Francisco gets invited to a cheese convention next!